Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Sequel Re-Cap

How Many Sequels you ask?  Let's count together shall we?

1.  Harry Potter 7 : Surely a much looked forward to movie as it will conclude Harry's Adventures a Hogwarts.  I never read the books, but much like the mainstream, I found that the movies became much better after the old director was sacked and Sequels Numbers 3-6 were MUCH better.

2. Mission Impossible 4: **Warning, Highly Opinionated Comments Ahead**  The official title of this movie is, "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol"  But I feel that they should have named it "Mission Impossible: Because No One Asked For It."  If it's one thing that J.J. Abrams and his band of no-talent writers can do, it's rob people of their time and money.  And this is definitely an Abrams summer, with his dumb show "Fringe" getting renewed for another season (Because If it's one thing that TV Execs understand...it's how to completely not know anything about what people like or want)  And another show for NBC on the way;  add in the highly acclaimed "Super 8"  which is getting higher reviews from critics than actual audience members (sounds kind of fishy no?), and now stir vigerously with another staple of any movie studio standby....a SEQUEL.  of course, this movie couldn't surely be full of lens flares and shaky hand cameras for added intensity....can it?  Dear J.J. Abrams....stop it.  just stop.

3.  Transformers 3:  **If I have to warn you about what I think of Michael Bay...then clearly what we have here, is a failure to communicate**
Let's get some background shall we?  We take a director whose only specialty is explosions.  Nope, that's it,....explosions, and ballistic cinematography.  Then, we let him have a crazy amount of money, and then he says that 'Transformers 2 was crap' (see this for proof).  Then we give him EVEN MORE MONEY to make a third installment of an awful franchise.  And he pulls crap like the above video?

And Let's be honest...has Shia Lebeouf ever done anything good....?  I mean, has he ever improved anything by being associated with a production?  okay, so let me get this straight...you have two idiots, who think that the audience is going to like their idiotic production, and then they will get paid?  Why am I in college?  This world makes no sense to me....maybe I will move...to the Dark Of The Moon!

4. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Yes, you read it correctly...another Planet of the Apes movie.  Because all of the sequels have done so well.....(that's irony).  Now, maybe enough time has past for people to have forgotten about that other planet of the apes franchise installment.  You know,...the one that ended with a scene of Ape-raham Lincon.  yeah, you know it.  So in all innocence and all honesty, this movie actually has a chance.  And maybe, just maybe, a new generation of Planet of the Apes fans are going to get some first time exposure to the franchise.  I have hopes for this movie to do well, but something doesn't add up for me.  Let me explain;  James Franco is one of the headlining actors in this movie.  We're talking about a guy who has carte blanche at this point in his career.  After doing "127 Hours" which was acclaimed and had a genuinely good turnout....Franco basically had his choice of what he wanted to do.  It's a bold move to go with a Planet of the Apes franchise installment....but perhaps Franco knows more than we do, and perhaps the script was solid enough to sell him on it...so is it going to be solid enough to win us over as well?

5.  The Muppets
Okay, Technically this is not really a sequel in terms of conventional definitions....however, I believe that it belongs on the list because it is a franchise installment to an existing line of movies.  So, whatever, I am filing it in this portion of the blog.  Having been enchanted by the muppets in my childhood, I am definitely one of the mainstream target audience for this film.  And they are doing a great job of making me want to see this!  You know what....have a look for yourselves, and tell me what you think about seeing another Muppet movie.  I am definitely enchanted.

6.  Cars 2
I have some pretty negative opinions about this....but none of them have any foundation to the feelings.  SO Please, please, please, anyone of you out there who has seen this movie, make sure that you comment, post, re-post, do whatever.  Because I am going to claim ignorance on this one.  I need to be schooled.  Someone, bring this class to session.

7.  Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
Enough said.

8.  X-Men: First Class
You know, this movie did not have a very good first impression on me.  I started reading about it when it was just a green-lit idea for Fox Studios, and then a script came along with a cast of characters...and I still wasn't convinced.  But this is one of those movies that executed well.  Scoring an impressive 8.1 out of 10 on IMDB from 57,000 votes is not easily done.  So kudos to X-Men: First Class for proving me wrong, and blasting me out of the water.  I would rather be wrong, and have a world full of good movies, than right, and have a handful of bargin bin blu-rays.

9.  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1
I had my doubts about this franchise.  And I had some strong words to say about it before I watched the movies...I will say this.  The movies, are entertaining, and watchable.  I still have some reservations about whether or not Kristin Stewart is a cunning actress, or really just the "Bella" that she was hired to play.  Watch as Part 1 will begin to conclude this vampirical / lycanthropic love story.

10. Johnny English: Reborn
Yes, yes, England's greatest spy is back in action after some soul searching and a Buddhist Training Montage.  See for yourself and make sure to leave some comments!

11.  Kung-Fu Panda 2
Does the world need another CG kids movie?  The answer seems to be an emphatic "Yes."  Comment, if you have seen this.

12.  Fast Five
A movie whose selling points are fast cars, fast women, and slow-witted wanna-be action stars.  sign me up.  (barfs into corner)

13.  Final Destination 5
Another installment in what is sure to be called, "The runaway cult classic, in which even the cult started hating the franchise, is BACK!"  Think of all of the money spent of terrible movies....now imagine that all of that money was given to cancer research, or aids research, or renewable energy, or education, or social security, or anything else.

14.  Pirates of the Caribbean : On Stranger Tides
Please commenters, leave some comments.  Only because I will not be seeing the final product on this one, and I am 99% sure that the people whom have seen this film will not tell me otherwise.

15.  The Hangover Part II
A friend of mine saw this and told me that it is simply "The Hangover" but set in Thailand.  True, false, whatever...make sure you leave a comment to set the record straight.

16.  Puss In Boots
Although this is not technically a sequel, I feel it belongs in this section of the blog.  Simply put, I will not be making a separate post for Spin-offs.

17.  Happy Feet Two
Do I really have to write anything here?  I mean, I am not trying to be lazy, but at the same time it's like someone setting you up for a giant pun....it's just too easy.  enjoy the trailer.


  1. I have a lot to say here, since you gave me a lot to work with:

    let's start with mission impossible 4 and Transformers 3 at the same time. Basically I don't get why the director's are trying again, in both cases the last installment was a failure. moving on.

    Planet of the Apes looks to be a prequel, so maybe it's a redemption film, maybe someone wrote something so brilliant that the knew it'd work. but is this a prequel or a reboot?

    All I can say about the Muppets is that I'm PUMPED for it.

    (possible spoilers on this next one, beware)
    X-men they ruined everything in the laws of a prequel, but I was entertained even though, Magneto became evil too soon (in X3 they show Magneto and Xavier recruiting Jean Grey together) and Scott Summers being in the modern day time line Xmen films, had a younger brother in the comics...who was in the new movie which was based in the 60's. #timelinefail

    I couldnt stand the hangover 2...same jokes, same story, exact same thing...garbage

    Im gonna end this with me shaking my head at Puss in boots, Happy Feet 2, and Kung fu panda 2. STOP MAKING THIS CRAP

  2. Haha totally agree on transformers 3... The action scenes (the only reason anyone goes to see another tranforners movie) were good and would want to be with the hundreds of millions of dollars they cost... Shia labouefs whiney rants about getting a job could rank as the most banal subplot in cinematic history, and Bay couldn't have crafted a more one dimensional female lead if he tried...